Lying Naked For The Cosmos

A suffocated inner atmosphere. Darkness, stress, betrayal. A mind reliving dreadful and distorted memories, while attempting to prevent this noxious air from seeping into the outer world. Here’s what has or is happening. What now?

Creating an identity for yourself that is actually an identity someone else created for you to better suit their own needs. Thinking this is what you need. False narratives build a gilded facade.

Subtly, patiently, “What do you think about this song, this mark here, this strand here. Move this way, so I can learn how you see, how you think, so I can climb into the synapses themselves, handling the information at the source…”

Well?

“Lock up all your memories, get outta here!” -11:59, Blondie

Trying to make sense of the inevitable consumption of light into darkness. We depend on an all-consuming void. We depend on the impenetrable? Is non-light the ultimate familiar state of… non-being...? It’s where we begin and end, it’s where we will spend most of our non-lives.

I carry on, unaware of the tugging that’s shifting my path closer and closer toward the event horizon, til suddenly I’m stretched and ripped apart, back to the building blocks of all matter. Do we actually fear shadow? What about in times of stress? Just close your eyes. Instant relief. Let the quiet darkness comfort you.

Perfectionism as paralysis. Not making or wearing or doing something, and how we become dependent on validation. The endless convincing. How do we lie to each other and ourselves?

This piece addresses anxious habits and confronts toxic relationships. By layering thoughts and memories, patterns reveal reasoning influenced by societal expectations that ultimately lead to destructive behavior.

“The past is not through with us.” -Magnolia, Paul Thomas Anderson.